How is that an illusion was created that “mother” meant perfect nurturer? How is that anything less than perfect mothering creates discontentment, blame, deep sadness and disappointment? What is it that entitles one to a “perfect” mother? And what, exactly, is perfection?

Is it possible you chose your mother for her very imperfections? Difficult parents provide a fertile ground to push against, a desire to thrust yourself into the world. When a seed is planted in the ground, it must push it’s way to the light, forging its own path to the larger whole, the Creator and community.

Mothers are shadow and light. If we stop expecting only light, perhaps we can accept this part of the human experience as necessary growth and really appreciate the sweetness and softnesses provided.

Each person, no matter how dark their mother, can find, if they search, a memory of mother’s kindness and love. When we allow ourselves to truly look at the whole, we see both, we allow both mother and self to be free.

Mothers are human, sexual, emotional beings of shadow and light, with histories, struggles, frailties, stories, teachings and lessons of their own. We must allow for her individual expression in order to have room for our own.

Today, I thank my mother for her shadow and from that place, I begin to see her light. I set her free of my expectations and societal obligations because her womb kept me safe and delivered me to my true mother, the Earth. I accept Earth Mother as my nurturer, and it is to her I will return. It is in the Earth Mother I rest and place my trust. And to you both I offer deep gratitude.

Our Earth Mother’s own state of perfection is waning. She needs us to deal with our toxicity. It begins inside. Please commit to working through your toxic emotions, thoughts and environments as we begin this New Year.